Not to read by public

hmm its weird maybe when you read the title of my outpouring. "not to read by pubic" it must comes out to your mind the question "so why do you published it in your blog?" in which blog is public area., someone write in their blog to make people know their writing, don't they? yeaah actually i dont like when public read this dejected story but i dont know why i really want to express all my commingle feeling in my blog so maybe if you are one of my friend or someone who knows me you better pretend that you never read this story. promise me? ok i'm just feigining all of you guys said "yes".

ok as we know this is the 12th day of ramadhan. and i'm not in the fasting conditon, of course you know what i mean. now i'm staying in my small, stuffy, hot, but lovely house. as usual all i can do in my house is just sleeping, watching tv, online (using my brother modem which not that bad to fsatisfy my facebook addict feeling), and of course eating.

ok let's begin to the main point today is sunday and my father has a day off as usual so it means he's staying in my ( i mean our) house. he's a really good father when the "heart atmosphere" of him is splendind. he helped my mom doing many kind of house wife duty you know like mopping, sweeping, even washing clothes. but he has a high blood (darah tinggi) disease so when he has a bad mood or get angry he will do many bad or even rude things.
one day he promised to my little sister that he will gave her Rp 300000 if she successfully performing fasting for one month fully, and when my silly sister asking about it i dont know how and why my father get angry and said a lot of bad things (i think his high blood disease is relapsed at that time). of course it is dissapointed me a lot and it just make me hate him (little bit). can you imagine a little, silly girl who doing her fasting pendrously and full of enthusiasm shocking by an angry man (in which we dont even know how it is come from) who promised a very simple thing (only 300000) rather of fulfil it he get wrathful instead. so poor my little sister. maybe this idul fitri i will give her some money. not that much but maybe it can cure her feeling even just a little bit.

this is quote for my fahter "dad no matter how hard you try to do a lot of nice thing but if you can't change your basic attitude which make us hate you (a bit) i wont change our opinion of you"

though i still love you, no matter what you've done you still my father and it will always be.

nb: one day my little sister have to canceled her fasting because she is sick. afraid of loosing the money she cried but wisely my father said he will give the money,but what my sister get?? nothing